You must be upset if someone who repeatedly reminded about your job. So, why do we, the wives, often acted as her husband? Most important, how do we stop undermining her husband?
Not because of love
Why do the wives often undermine the husband? Generally, they do so as a form of attention. Psychologist Molly Barrow, PhD says, how to love like that is somewhat misleading.
According to Barrow, undermining is not a form of affection or love. The husband actually will feel you do not trust the ability and responsibility. In addition, can also undermine the cause unpleasant situation. Undermining You can create an unpleasant situation. You may be undermining the terror of her husband and eventually her husband was not at home. Alternatively, the husband would be angry, resentful, and felt cramped.
Various kinds of undermining
Barrow explained by saying, "Kan told me many times," the responsibility to remind their husbands, the wives of the means to make their husbands do have responsibilities. In fact, on several occasions, undermining it makes deliberate dereliction of duty husbands or wives reprimand. Remember a good husband and just once. Reminds something repeatedly with a fussy will cause many problems, including fights.
Barrow explains another form of undermining or fussy attitude, which make themselves as enviable party. "Like Mama dong, never forget to pay electricity," one example. Such behavior undermines often found in couples who initially felt to have much in common, but then began to find the differences. They often try to undermine each other to follow the way of their partners each. All parties felt himself most true.
Depth of undermining the most severe, according to Barrow, is undermining aggressive. The wife constantly criticize, undermine, and fretting their husbands so frustrated and angry. The wife can not get enough of her partner. They do not even believe it anymore as the head of the family. They feel they are better suited to control household Dipper. What really happened was the wife to the husband's disappointment and want their partner to feel that disappointment.
It is also important, demanding and not always blame the husband. Occasionally, the wife needs to praise the success of what he did, for example, says, "We never fined because you're disciplined to pay the bills."
Stop undermining
It is not always the behavior is categorized as a reminder that undermine action. There are times when you have to remind more than once, especially for important and urgent. But, warned not always with the verbal, is not it? You can remind the other way, making small notes, for example. Of the sentence written on paper is not peppered with sentences "terror" or the full threat as "Watch out if you forget!" and similar expressions that describe our distrust him.
How to order us to stop the habit of undermining? Certainly not by letting the reckless behavior of the husband. Moreover, to remind reluctant for fear of being considered just a nag. Moreover, you just do what you've become part of that responsibility. Barrow was not recommend this way. All you need to realize, asking you to stop nagging her husband does not mean you do not ask for more attention to him. Just ask your husband to reduce levels of control you have over.
Change your talkative nature and be a person who has a sense of empathy. Never be ashamed and do not blame the abusive husband. Change your way of "blame and cornering" with "to tell the consequences that may arise from this omission".
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
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